The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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