I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize