So drunk its hurt
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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