If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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