Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
