An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
