I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
