I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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