We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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