actually, I'm a sock model
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Drake has all the answers
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
