sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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