If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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