So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
