I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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