Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How's work?
Spinning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
