i think my tv is drunk
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
