Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
