yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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