Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
