Little spoons don't ask big questions
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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