next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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