i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
