I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize