it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
are you so shy because you have an std?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize