Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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