Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
