yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he puts the penis in happiness.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
