Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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