Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
