I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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