I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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