Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
