Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
