I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
