Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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