My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
