I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
