You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
