youre lurking in front of me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
