Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
