Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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