Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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