so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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