Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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