Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
