I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Can I color on your dick again?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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