i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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