He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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