My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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