went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
