I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
