Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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