so explain again why im purple
no
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize