Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
