Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
