she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize