How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
