im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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