you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
